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| Top: Eastwood City Bazaar, Corduroy Pants: Thrifted, Flats: SM Department Store, Leopard print bangles: Girl Shoppe, Vintage brown bangles: Seasons Shangrila Mall, Necklace: Bubbles |
Last Saturday I decided to visit my mom's crypt to avoid the rush of people going to the cemetaries today. Visiting her is the hardest thing in the world for me to do, because its hard for me to walk away, even harder for me to hold back the tears. When I stand there to send up my little prayer to her, I always tell myself to try and get over it, it's been 2 years since she past. And I doubt she'd want to watch me crying from up there, but no matter what I do all those tears just stream down and before I know it my fiance's arm is around me, quietly trying to console me.
Losing her is the most painful thing that has ever happened to me, specially now that I'm preparing for my wedding. Doing all this or even waking up without knowing she's physically around is the kind of painful that doesn't go away. Sometimes I feel totally lost without her, she used to be my condfidant and the person who gave me strength when I needed it the most. Although I know I can't be selfish about it, there are still times I wish that when I wake up in the morning, that I hear her moving around in the kitchen. Or when I come home from work that I can talk to her about what happened to me that day. I know I can still do it now through prayer, but there are just those times I wish I could see her again. So this long weekend has been tough on me because of it. I'm sorry for the sad post but i guess i just couldn't help but vent it all out here.
Thanks for reading and I hope you guys have a great week ahead :)
